Boys will be Boys

They discovered they also had hats in their underwear drawer yesterday morning -- I had to chase them around the house to get the underwear off their head and school clothes on their bodies. Life is hectic and hilarious with these 2.

Fall at the Farm

Well, it's not technically a farm, but we do have lots of creatures. Ladybugs seem to want to dwell in Tyler's room indefinitely. I watched as deer grazed in our front yard today. A coyote howls but seems to safely keep his distance, thankfully. We have roosters and chickens who wander over from our neighbors' at least once a day -- they are across the pond but still very audible when outside. I used to hear their constant crowing in the yard, but I tune it out now and have to remind myself to listen. I guess that's how our neighbors manage to have them so close to their home -- the mind trains it self.

My favorite "guest" is a breathtaking crane, who fishes our pond several times a week (I like to think it's the same crane anyway). I never take for granted that we get to see him and if we're in the car, the boys and I always stop and greet him.

We rarely have geese, which I hear we don't want, but they do come by occasionally, a few at a time. I hope to get a few ducks as pets at some point. There are horses next door and we have a horse tie mounted on a tree from a previous owner, which makes me wonder if they did graze here at some point. Frogs are aplenty -- the real, cool-looking green ones too. This place is lizard heaven, apparently, as they seem to have the largest headcount. It's a good thing I like them because they'd run me out if not! Decent-size bass populate the pond, but the carp make the big splashes and blow you away with their size.

I know we have some other less appealing creatures, too, but we won't talk about that. ;) All in all, this abode is purely alive -- and a piece of my heart. Along with my kids, it's a huge inspiration and I'm trying to figure out how to merge both photography and our home into a sort of studio -- a unique and private outdoor setting for portrait photographers to shoot (possibly including myself!), an indoor photo studio in our well-lit separate apartment, and a workshop in the standalone 2-story shed. There are a few photo sessions here this week and I hope this exciting momentum continues -- below are some photos I did of Tyler and I'm shooting some more kiddos this weekend. I'm sure I'll write in detail about my plans for this place once Scott & I figure them out and hopefully there will be a website in the near future!

12 Years

We've been so busy that the anniversary of Dad's death snuck up on me more than usual this year. Usually, with the onset of Fall, my senses remember this difficult time even more than my brain does, and there's an undercurrent of sadness, more pronounced, with the changing leaves. Maybe this did happen, but I felt almost startled that the date had approached so quickly, and even more alarmed that it had been so long ago -- 12 years. I will never be used to his absence and the boys are growing up with 2 amazing grandmothers but not a single memory of a grandfather. At their earliest ages, I saw them look with fascination at old men, like their minds were wondering "what is that?" Tyler now understands his grandfathers are in heaven and that he is very loved by them. He knows that "Blackwater" by the Doobie Brothers was one of my dad's favorite songs and points it out when it comes on a CD mix I have with it. He says "This was grandaddy's favorite," very seriously and studies the song intently, belting out the lyrics at times too. Tyler is crazy about music. He would have also been crazy about these 2 wonderful men, and there will always be a loss but they are with us and I get the most moving reminders of this sometimes. Yesterday, on the actual anniversary of Dad's passing, Tyler looked into a starless night sky, and commented "Where are the stars? They must be with the grandfathers." I was amazed at his observation and the beautiful timing. Now today, sorting through old computer files, I stumbled on a poem I wrote during the last months we had with him after he'd come home from the hospital. I'm including it here since it will likely get lost again and the memories it spawned are just priceless. Love you, daddy.

 What it is to Cry

When his eyes glisten

Unearthed beads from purity’s garden.

When his smile unspools,

Endless yards of goodness and grace.

What it is to cry, I know, forever changes.

Mom cozy in bed,

He next to her, the same.

Wearing his sickness with nobility,

A crown of thorns unnamed.

Silliness rolls from their lips,

Bellies swell with laughter.

Tick tock, the prognosis lingers.

But in their smiling eyes,

God’s word says otherwise,

And louder.

Lasting joy only obtained from surviving

The hardest of years.

It’s then we know that

What it is to cry forever changes.

A hand that squeezes can hold such sorrow.

Yet with this same squeeze,

The heart flowers to hold

Love for morrow,

That generations will feel with

A similar gesture.

Dad’s love, a river,

With no earth-given barrier. 

Some dear friends worked all night on this collage before the funeral (which included many more photos than shown here). Such a treasure.

Austin & the Birds

They quickly learned the rule we all know -- don't touch Austin's snack!

I haven't done individual posts about the boys in awhile -- and they are true individuals, that's for sure. It's remarkable how a few months can bring such changes and developments, and I feel like Austin is on lightning speed to growing up. He's so vocal and expressive, determined to keep up with his brother, incredibly affectionate and truly stubborn -- a natural trait in this little family. :)

His feistiness is reserved for just us though, and expressed as endearing charm and pure sweetness to the outside world, where he gets lathered with attention -- even offers of adoption.

He's always verbalizing his wants, and the thoughts of this 2 year old just crack me up -- his concerns are so small and how he relays them to anyone who will listen is what surprises me most.

Virtually anyone he meets will instantly learn that he "spit his bed" a few weeks ago ("spit" is what he calls throwing up). This is mentioned to a stranger at least once every couple of days, prompting an explanation from me if it's someone afraid of getting sick! "I have a bad cough" is another common refrain, even though it too is in the past (for now..). "I made that" is one of his favorite declarations to us and anyone who will listen, and this includes things he did make, but also things never even touched, such as Tyler's artwork or the intricate sand castle that was next to us at the beach. If only just saying we made something made it true!

Austin cruises on his scooter

Not to say my little one is a liar ;) -- he's just getting a hold of how he relates to the world and events and these things are constantly on his mind. Another instance was with the seagulls at the beach that we drew with our eager snacking. Austin had a love/hate relationship with these bold creatures -- fascinated by their presence but concerned about their desire for his snacks and when one got his chip, literally snatching it out of his hand, his distress over the event colored his entire trip. To the hostess at a restaurant: "The bird got my chip!" At bedtime, or when in the car, "those birds! They ate my chips!" It meant war for Austin and we got a good laugh when he started charging the birds yelling at them that they can't have his chips the last days at the beach.

Oh to have the simple worries of a 2 year old. But he does have his plate full with some serious molars cutting and how he handles this is keeping busy and asking for lots of hugs. My little love is so very 2 now but I know this phase passes quickly, and his baby-ness is fading way too fast.

pure awe was his first reaction

feeding my little birds

bird chasing

on the defense -- guarding his chips

finally taking charge and loving it

Good Stuff

Taking a break from blogging about vacation to document some good stuff happening on the homefront. We are in a celebratory mode because Scott is starting a new job (this week in fact) and with it, we are starting a new era of more family time and saner work hours.

It's no secret that advertising agencies have crazy deadlines and demanding hours, and combined with Scott's seriously long commute to downtown Atlanta, we only got time with him on the weekends -- almost as if he travelled during the week like during Austin's first year. Most nights, he'd get home by 7 (at best) and then back to the computer by 9 and holidays were always threatened by the likely possibility of some "big" project spilling over in to our sacred time. While he will surely miss the people, the awesome environment (dog and beer friendly), and the excitement of the video shoots and really cool projects (xbox), he's trading in his cool card for the corporate world and we couldn't be happier about it. With a shorter commute to the galleria mall area (and the ability to work from home), as well as a focus on branding and design (his true passion) vs. campaigns, we are hopeful that the new company will be his destination for the long run and that we'll get to see him at the dinner table during the week again!

Now for more beach photos of course :)

Congrats baby -- so proud of you :)

Chill'n

Hurricane Sandy spared the FL gulf coast, but did bring a chill to the air and lots of wind with it on the first few days of our vacation. We were thankful for those very small effects, relatively speaking, and managed to still have some fun beach time with the boys. They loved their giant sandbox and really had  it all to themselves thanks to the temp. They were so cute to watch and Scott and I found we could sit down more this trip than any other we've had with the boys -- thanks to Austin getting older and not running off (as much) -- vacation is starting to feel a bit like vacation again! :)