Life is Fragile

Just when I think I'm getting this Mom gig down, I have a day like today. The morning was slow and lazy, as I leisurely started the ten loads of laundry I had to do along with the massive unpacking effort that a vacation with babies takes. I had slated the whole day for this, along with a haircut, and was making decent progress unpacking in our bedroom, when I heard the shattering of glass and my sweet baby Tyler cry out right next to me.

He had been taking a sip of water from my own water glass, and either decided to bite it or hold it with his mouth -- I'm still not sure which, but the result was the crystal-like pieces of glass were scattered over our floor and, I feared, in his little belly. I showed him how to spit, but did not know if anything had made it down his throat and quickly called Scott, who was out running errands, and let him know we had to go to the doctor right away.

I was shaking with fear and disgust at my stupidity, because when Tyler had asked, I let him take a sip minutes earlier and even walked away as he continued to take cautious sips, like he normally does with "big boy" cups. I told him to be careful and stay put, as I felt the worst that could happen was he'd drop it on the carpet, but I now know otherwise and looking back see my lapse of judgement.

I'd watched enough House episodes to know what the day could entail in trying to locate any stray piece of glass he'd swallowed and I felt dizzy with the thought of any pain Tyler might experience, the certain trauma he'd go through as doctors were looking for it, and just the rush of getting all 3 of us ready and out the door. Meanwhile, Tyler was laughing and playing as usual, and managed to take a crayon to my shower door and empty out the shampoo on our bathtub -- all in the span of 5 minutes as I tried to organize our next steps.

When I turned and saw the crayon and shampoo mess he made right under me, I really just wanted to sit down and cry.

How had I lost my "game" in such a short amount of time? We had barely an incident and maybe one timeout on the entire trip, and here, in our obsessively-baby-proofed home, everything seemed to be unravelling the first morning.

But prayers do get answered, and I'm still thanking God that when Scott came home, we were able to locate all the pieces of the glass and tape it together. Tyler, chomping down on Goldfish, his 2nd snack of the morning, was clearly not cut or hurting, so we were able to put it in the "close call" category, which is getting more calls than I'd ever want!

Needless to say, I'm still shaken and questioning myself, and wondering just how I'm going to deal as the toddler incidents turn into the stitches and sprains of boyhood.

I think most moms who know me would say I fall very close to the "paranoid" side of the safety scale,  and I really don't know if my life can be filled with any more precautions than I already take, whether it's only letting Scott and I drive the babies or keeping sanitizer as a "condiment on the table," which Mandy jokingly points out as I place it next to the salt and pepper when we eat out.

Maybe that's the lesson  -- that we can only do our best -- and pray, pray, pray.

My little dear-heart loving that he can drink out of our cups -- this one is plastic and that's all he will have until he's 18!